Good afternoon, fair reader. I’m watching, “Casablanca,” on Turner Classic Movies, a film which I happen to know all the dialogue. The bills are paid for the month, so that’s good, although I’m flat broke now. Every month is like this, and it’s not unsettling or upsetting in the least. The lights are on, the rent is paid, the flat is warm, and the cable & Internet works…I’m better off than most of the human race. Plenty of food, too. We can’t eat out or see a movie or go to a museum, but some months we can, and that’s enough.
This morning, electro-convulsive therapy (ECT) went neglected and I’m to go on Thursday now at 6am. Better that way, as existential rumination for several hours (my appointment was at 12:30pm) leads to my ferreting out some reason not to go to my session. Better that I wake up and go. Before I know it, they’re depriving me of my consciousness and anesthetizing me. After that, it’s all recovery and the short ride home to convalesce.
I’ve now had 20 sessions of ECT and can report that it has worked well. Depression doesn’t enfeeble me anymore, although my ability to concentrate is a little exhausted. Books find themselves in my hands and words trek into my brain via the magic of reading, although I find that paragraphs have to be re-read several times before they’re consumed. I’m a slow reader, anyway. A small price to pay to stave off depression and suicidal acts.
My thoughts turn to you, dear reader. Who are you? Male or female? Sexually active? My thoughts are quite focused on sex these days. My medications make it very difficult to get an erection. Cuddling with my beloved wife will give me one. But as far as masturbation goes, it’s out. So I haven’t had, or cared to have, an orgasm for weeks.
Sitting here, writing, I’m trying to resist the urge to post a picture of myself, naked, and flaccid, and fat, and disgusting. But I don’t think that’s necessary. This will do.
Again, this is about you. I’d love it for you to post a picture of yourself, as I have, tastefully censored. You can see my wedding ring, Ace bandage, hairy body, little pecker, man boobs, but aesthetically-appealing teal panties. What have you got? We’re very open-minded here at the Hub of Five Pets, so let fly.
So I’ve gotten my reference to fucking out of the way today. True, I’m a bit obsessed with it, but I have my reasons. Feel free to write me at DWDLisle@outlook.com if you want to talk about IFS, CBT, depression, mental illness, sex, or whatever you’d like. Really.
Yesterday, I went to see my psychiatrist and it went well. Some changes were made, but not many. My medications were tweaked. Nothing radical. Wellbutrin was added…good for depression and may help me with the smoking. I still smoke a pipe and that needs to end. Coming home, I walked, and found some interesting human creations of note. Political art, you’d call it. Did I mention that I like people? I do.
What else did I see? Oh, yes…
And Rand Paul is running for president. A Libertarian/Republican (a common varmint these days) who hates women and is against a woman’s right to choose. Absurd. A Libertarian Fascist? Personally, I’m for abortion rights right through the 3rd trimester. If the baby needs the mother to survive, it’s part of her, and it’s her right. Yes.
The Democratic Party will most likely feel compelled to surrender the nomination to Hillary, a mistake. She’ll lose, just too much political and personal baggage. Warren won’t run…yet. Bernie Sanders, as a Social Democrat (not quite a Socialist), will create a radical caucus that will complicate matters, but he’ll back the nominee. Who will it be? Gore again? Kerry? They’ll be coming out of the woodwork. But the GOP is loaded and ready to go.
Rand Paul, the most hostile class warrior (obviously against the poor) and socially conservative prick you can imagine, may be our next president. Get ready.
Things could change. Bernie Sanders could become popular and mainstream. Possibly. Not likely, but possible. Hillary Clinton may surprise us (me). We need a woman, that I know. We need to remember that it’s not a crime to be poor, disabled, and/or needy. In short, we need a Socialist. A Progressive will do. Yet, I still think we’ll end up with Rand Paul.
That scares me. And with that, I’m done. Except for these pictures and video…enjoy.