A cheerful morning is advancing towards noon, when it will pivot and begin a descent into nervous concern over impending physical pain. I’m to have dental surgery at the oddly specific time of 2:50 pm. A tooth extraction is planned. They’re certain to use novocaine instead of knocking me out with nitrous oxide. Something called, “laughing gas” is definitely on my to-do list, but I keep getting screwed out of it. Anyway, my appetite is currently unaffected and a breakfast of toast and coffee has made its way into my yap. The breakfast of champions.
I’m looking for a book recommendation, some juicy fiction. It’s good to be in the middle, or thereabouts, of a book at all times. Or at least intend (or pretend) to be. As you’re reading this ‘blog at the moment, you’ve indicated no small amount of good taste. Having been properly vetted as a connoisseur, do you have a book hanging around that you’re picking at? Educated people read, and you want to seem educated, don’t you, you dummy? You must have some quaint and curious volume of lore on the nightstand, perhaps, or within close proximity of the hopper. The bathroom is a great place to get reading done. A bad Thai meal or dinner at Arby’s will give you ample enough time to catch up on all your reading. If you’re in the bathroom frequently enough to finish James Joyce’s, Finnegans Wake within a month, however, get thee to a doctor tout de suite.
While you’re in there, if Finnegans Wake makes any sense to you, you’ve either had a stroke whilst straining to void your bowels, or you’ve been bitten by a Brazilian Wandering Spider. Those are precisely the only two options.
So avail yourself of the comments section and let me know what you think I should read. Obviously, Finnegans Wake is out. As is Atlas Shrugged.